Love Kills
by Amina Bella
Summary: She loves her so much, she could die. MoJo. Rated: T for self abuse. R&R. COMPLETE. fluffy ending
1. Chapter 1

**It's not my best. But I was sad when I wrote this. It'll probably be a two shot if I get enough reviews.**

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It was eleven thirty at night when a very tired Joanne barged through the door, only to startle her girlfriend, Maureen, who was half asleep on the couch.

"Pookie?" Maureen asked in a hazy voice, as she rubbed her eyes and slowly rolled off the couch.

"Hmm.." Joanne answered as she sat down her suit case, and took off her coat.

Maureen walked over to her and wrapped her arms around the lawyer, holding her close. This was the first time in a long time she had actually seen her lover. All Joanne did was work, and when she didn't work, she layed up on the couch studying or reading. Joanne barely payed attention to the diva, and she felt like maybe Joanne was falling out of love with her.

And that was killing Maureen. Literally.

"I missed you." Maureen whispered in her ear.

"I missed you, too." Joanne replied, a hint of carelessness in her voice.

Maureen pulled away from her and gave her a hurt look before walking back into the living room and repositioning herself on the couch. Joanne just watched as she walked away.

"Are you sleeping out here?" Joanne asked curiously, as she slowly started walking to their bedroom.

"Why do you care?" Maureen whispered to herself.

"What?"

"I'm going to watch t.v for a little while..I be in there later." Maureen said.

Joanne nodded and entered their room, shedding her clothes and changing into a pair of boxers and a tank top before crawling into bed. She reached over on her night stand and pulled out a book to read.

Maureen lay on the couch, her eyes red and her pretty pale face stained with tears. Maureen was falling apart and Joanne didn't even seem to care. She couldn't remember the last time Joanne touched her, or kissed her like she loved her. All she wanted to do was work. Maureen was sure they weren't going to last...and every time Maureen thought of that, she could feel her heart break a little more.

Sitting up and wiping her face, Maureen walked down the hallway and into the bathroom. She slowly shut the door and locked it. She opened a drawer and pulled out a little box full of razor blades. Carefully taking one, Maureen, sat on the toilet, more tears shedding from her hazel eyes. She hated doing this to herself, but it was the only pain she could control.

She slowly brought the razor up to her right wrist, and swiftly guided it across, a blank look embedded on her face. She was numb. She did it again, and again, and again. Getting frustrated, so many thoughts flying through her mind, she shredded her arm without even realizing it.

Blood poured from her limp wrist, dripping slowly on the tile floor. Maureen dropped the razor and began to cry harder.

Joanne, who was still reading her book, thought she heard a noise. She sat her book down and climbed out of bed and ventured down the hallway to find the noise. Walking by the living room, Joanne peaked her head in to see an empty room. Feeling a little nervous, she wandered farther down the hall, seeing the bathroom light shine from under the wooden door.

She knocked. "Maureen?"

No answer.

"Maureen!" She yelled, now pounding on the door.

All she heard was muffled cries.

"Maureen, are you okay? Open the door."

"Go away!"

Joanne was slightly stunned by those words, but not too stunned. She knew her relationship with the diva was slowly falling apart, and she planned on fixing it, but it was hard when work stressed and wore her out. She still cared and loved Maureen, but being over-stressed and over-worked kind of made Joanne feel careless.

"Baby.." Joanne began.

"Don't fucking 'baby' me, Joanne." Maureen said in a firm voice.

Joanne sighed. "Maureen, open the fucking door."

Maureen didn't answer. Instead, she picked the razor back up and held it to her wrist, tempted to do it again. She currently sat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head resting against the wall.

Joanne rammed the door with her shoulder, causing it to fly open, revealing a rather bloody Maureen.

"Oh my God.." Joanne whispered as she slowly walked over to her, falling to her knees. She grabbed the razor out of her girlfriends hand and threw it across the bathroom.

"Why..what..why.." Joanne stuttered, as she grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapping Maureen's arm up in it. Maureen just stared straight ahead, her face more pale than usual, and she was begining to tremble.

Joanne pulled her into a tight embrace. "This is all my fault.." Joanne choked out, her eyes filling with tears. "Baby, I'm so sorry.."

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**Eh, totally not diggin' this story. But I always hate what I write. Anyway, if you want me to continue review. Flame if you want. I'll just ignore you. :)**


	2. Forever and Always

**Big WOOOOOOHOOOOOO to the whole 4 people who reviewed! Aha. Ehh..Okay, so this is the last chapter. Woot.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like the amazing Jonathan Larson to you:)**

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Joanne continued to hold her girlfriend close, rubbing her arms to ease her shaking. Maureen sobbed and cried into Joanne's shoulder.

"Why, Mo..?" Joanne asked.

Maureen was now coughing so hard from crying, and her arm had began to itch from the dry blood. She didn't want to talk, but she knew she had to explain to Joanne before their relationship got any worse.

"I...I was afraid I was going to loose you...and I guess, this was the only way I could deal with it." Maureen admitted, pulling the towel off her arm, to look at the damage. Joanne gasped when she saw it, her face scrunching up as she held back tears.

Joanne wasn't sure what to say back. Was there anything she COULD say to make Maureen feel better? Of course Joanne loved her, there was no doubt about that. But how could she possibly explain why she had been ignoring her for the past few months? She was going to have to try...

"You're not going to loose me. I promise. I love you entirely too much to let you go. I know I've been distant lately, but that's because all I do is work, and it stresses me out..and..." She sighed and bit her bottom lip. "..I know it's not a good enough reason for why I've been like I've been. But, Mo, I love you and you can't keep doing this to yourself." Joanne lifted Maureen's wounded arm to her mouth and gently kissed it.

Maureen looked up at her, her body still slightly shaking from crying so hard. "But doing this opened your eyes."

Joanne's heart sank. Did Maureen really have to nearly kill herself for her to see how much Maureen loved her? Apperently so.

"Mo, you could've just talked to me." Joanne began before getting cut off.

"No, I couldn't. I tried to talk to you, Joanne. But all you wanted to do was sleep, or study for a case. I couldn't communicate with you and it made me feel like we were falling apart..." Maureen went silent.

"Love is the slowest form of suicide. And I'd die for you." She whispered, a single tear falling from her eye and landing on her bottom lip.

Joanne kissed the tear off her lip and let the tears that she was holding in flow out. She wrapped her arms around the diva and pulled her close, kissing her lightly on the neck.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." She choked out, her fists balling up around Maureen's shirt. "I'm so fucking sorry."

Maureen wrapped her arms around her waist and held her why she cried.

"Promise me you'll never leave me." Maureen whispered in her ear.

Joanne lifted up her head, and wiped her eyes before meeting Maureen's gaze.

"Marry me." Joanne said softly, feeling more tears coming.

Maureen smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. "Seriously?" She asked in amazement.

"Yes, marry me!" Joanne said a little louder.

"Oh my God, Jo." Maureen flung her arms around her again and cried...happy tears this time.

"Will you? Will you be my wife, forever?"

"Yes. Forever and always."

Both girls let out excited, giddy laughs, hugging and kissing eachother. After getting that out of their system, Maureen stood up and pulled up Joanne with her.

"How about we go bandage up this arm and I'll show you just how much I love you." Joanne said, leading her now fiance, down the hallway.

Maureen just let Joanne guide her with a smile on her face. She wasn't loosing Joanne after all, they were going to get married and live happily ever after. She was going to make sure of that.

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**Oh sweet mother of Mosses. That was the worst story ever. I seriously understand if you don't review. LOL. Kidding. Review if you want..thanks to the people who actually read and reviewed! xoxo**


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